Like all Hollywood awards shows before it, the 2016 Golden Globes were definitely full of all kinds of moments. Here are our picks for the highest, lowest, and middliest of the night—and let’s not forget those middly lows! You ready? Let’s do this.
High: Taraj P. Henson handing out cookies
After winning for best actress in a TV series/drama, Taraj P. Henson A.K.A. Cookie Lyon got up and handed everybody cookies to celebrate. This is a lock as a high, right? Everyone liked this. They had to have. Cookie handing out cookies. That’s fun. It’s a high.
Low: Gervais vs. Gibson
Yikes, Ricky Gervais and Mel Gibson certainly made things uncomfortable trading shots with one another before Gibson’s presentation of a clip for Mad Max: Fury Road. It was entertaining though. So maybe it wasn’t a low? No, it was a low. Yeah, I’m putting it as a low. Ok.
Middly: Lady Gaga bumping Leo DiCaprio’s arm
I don’t know, this one’s kinda neither here nor there, right? Definitely something that happened. Hard to say. Seems like a middly. Middly it is.
Middly Low: Microphone lowering for Kevin Hart
I mean, this was funny. It’s just tough ’cause a lot of crazy things happened, and it seems like this kinda fell through the cracks. It was fine. Funny. People enjoyed it. But I mean, all the other stuff is what people are talking about. Not this. So it’s a middly low. But it’s not its fault or anything. Good job, but also not good job. I don’t know.
Low Mid High: Denzel’s laugh
Honestly, just covering all my bases here. Denzel’s laugh was certainly noteworthy, but framing it within a rated system is just hard, ok? It’s hard. This could be a high, could be a low, could be a middly. I think it’s probably cool, but eh, I dunno. Maybe not everything that happens requires a label. But if it did, low mid high fits the bill here.
Tricky Low Midster: Ricky Gervais’ Monologue
God, there’s more? Well, I guess Ricky Gervais earned himself a spot in the tricky low midsters this year with his contemptuous monologue? Because despite the awkwardness it was also funny at times, kinda, so that’s why it’s sort of a midster? Whatever. It’s a tricky low midster. Fuck off, this is harder than it looks.
High high up in the skies: Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence presenting awards
Why does there need to be one higher than high? High high up in the skies is an insane category. You know what? FINE. Amy Schumer and JLaw’s tag team presenting stint earned itself a place in the high high up in the skies this year. There. Happy? I’m done.
Low Low Lowies: Your mom
The Martian completely robbed your mom’s underwear for Best Comedy.
