Can We Guess Your Weight And Make You Feel Like A Star?

Fact: Everyone has a weight issue. The question is: what kind of weight issue do you have? By taking this simple quiz you will not only learn what’s wrong with your diet, but also which celebrity shares your exact same problem – and then you’ll feel better, right? So what’s holding you back? Let us guess your weight and make you feel like a star!

You get the munchies at 1:00am so you drive to the nearest McDonald's. What do you order?
1. A couple of McDoubles and a small fries. The dollar menu was an offer I couldn't refuse.
2. Two apple pies, a large chocolate shake, and a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, but please don't tell Jenny Craig.
3. Nothing. But I would run inside to use the bathroom where I could snort a line of Molly off the back of the toilet.
4. McDonald's is for flabby, girly-men.
What's the grossest thing that you've ever eaten?
1. Once, I ate a live cockroach.
2. Ted Danson's hair piece.
3. A Disney contract.
4. The maid.
What's your workout routine like?
1. I used to do a little boxing. I could have been a contender.
2. I don't really work out. It's easier to just get liposuction the week before a commercial.
3. Twerkin' y'all!
4. Pumping iron.
Your doctor tells you to go on a diet. Which one do you choose?
1. The see-food diet: I see Mallomars, and peanut butter, and cornflakes, and pancakes, and steak, and potatoes, and I eat it.
2. Jenny Craig (Duh!)
3. I just binge and then stick this big ol’ foam finger down my throat to purge.
4. The cigars and steroids diet.
What's your favorite food?
1. Mallomars and peanut butter and cornflakes and pancakes and steak and potatoes and …
2. The Jenny Craig Beef & Cheese Slider.
3. Molly.
4. I eat Green Berets for breakfast.
Have you ever been teased about your body?
1. The horror, the horror!
2. Well my show was called "Fat Actress"...
3. Some people say that I look like a prepubescent boy :(
4. At one time my bicep was so big someone said it must be a tumor. IT'S NOT A TUMOR!
Have you ever been diagnosed with an eating disorder or food addiction?
1. I like to use butter as an anal lubricant but I wouldn't say I'm addicted...
2. I used to binge eat on the set of 'Veronica's Closet'.
3. *SNORT* Why are you asking? What did you hear?
4. I had an eating disorder when I was gaining wait for my role in 'Junior'. I would eat dis-order of French fries, and dat-order of French fries.
Do you ever eat for emotional reasons?
1. Sometimes I think about the plight of the Native American Peoples and it makes me so sad that I have to eat a whole 5 gallon tub of ice cream.
2. I fell in love with John Travolta on the set of ‘Look Who's Talking Too’. When I found out that I wasn’t his type only a bag of Oreos and intravenous chocolate milk could console me.
3. Once I got so nervous I ate a whole tray of ‘brownies’ to mellow out. Afterwards, my tongue felt so big I couldn't keep it in my mouth.
4. When Maria served me with divorce papers I was so sad I had the maid bring me six whole plates of schnitzel.
Do you have a hard time finding clothes that fit?
1. Yes, but sometimes I can get away with wearing bed sheets.
2. No, stealing George Wendt's pants was easier than you’d think.
3. Yes, I’ll never again fill a dress like Hannah Montana.
4. Yes, my loincloth from 'Conan the Barbarian' was way too small.
Has anyone ever told you that you need to lose/gain weight?
1. After I accidentally sat on Al Pacino's leg and shattered his femur on the set of the ‘Godfather’, Coppola told me that I needed to go to the gym.
2. Jenny Craig told me that I needed to lose at least 50lbs before I could pose for my “before” picture.
3. My daddy is always telling me “Darlin', you need to put down the fast times and pick up a slow roast”
4. Sylvester Stallone told me that I could only be in the Expendables 4 if I turned some of my saggy old man flab into gross old man muscles like his.