Quiz: Are You A Hungry Or Horny Tyrion Lannister?

Despite his quick-fire tongue and reputation as a bit of a wit, Tyrion Lannister has only two moods: hungry and horny. If he’s not tearing into a leg of mutton, then chances are he’s screwing a slightly better-than-average-looking call girl. Everyone loves this bawdy little fella with a teenage sensibility and fantastic inclination to verbosity.

Without exception, every single Game of Thrones fan in the world can be categorized into one of two camps – ‘Hungry Tyrion Lannister’ or ‘Horny Tyrion Lannister’. Which one are you?

1. Winter is coming! How will you stay warm?

   
   1. Body heat! I shall spend the cold months sandwiched between some hot wenches.
   2. I will eat enough mutton to create a thick layer of fat. My blubber should keep the frost at bay.

2. You've just been appointed as the Hand To The King. How do you celebrate?

   
   1. I grab one of Littlefinger's best girls and breach her wall with my White Walker!
   2. I suck down enough venison to choke a dire wolf.

3. You accidentally walk in on your brother buried balls-deep in your sister. What do you do to erase the horrible image from your mind?

   
   1. Find a comely lass to sit upon my iron bone and hump my pain away.
   2. Ale and turkey legs, and keep 'em coming!

4. Your nephew King Joffrey requires your presence at a breakfast feast in his honor. Your companion Shae also requires your presence... for a different kind of feast. Which do you tend to first?

   
   1. The king can wait; I never pass up a little morning nookie.
   2. Where the bacon and eggs at? Bros before Wester-hoes!

5. 5 Wrongfully accused of murder, you find yourself in jail. Your brother offers to sneak you in either a delicious meat pie from the royal kitchen or a scullery maid for a 20-minute conjugal visit. Which do you choose?

   
   1. The Maid. I can deal with hunger as long as I can get my rocks off.
   2. The meat pie. How is this even a question?

6. A knave has set fire to Kings Landing. You can either save Shae or the royal chef but not both, who do you choose?

   
   1. Shae. Hunger is fleeting but love is eternal.
   2. The Royal Chef. Girls come and go but nobody makes a quiche like that guy.

7. Whilst searching for a sandwich that you misplaced, you come across your father and your girlfriend in bed together. What happens next?

   
   1. I kill them both in a blind rage of passion.
   2. I quietly leave the room and keep looking for that delicious hoagie.

8. 8 What's more important to you in a mate, cooking skills or sexual prowess?

   
   1. Sexual prowess. We can always go out to eat.
   2. Cooking skills. Everyone knows that the best part of sex is the after-sex sandwich.

9. Have you ever eaten a meal so good that you would describe it as orgasmic?

   
   1. No, that's ludicrous. No cheeseburger has ever made my eyes roll back into my head and my toes curl, no matter how much bacon they put on it.
   2. Yes. I once ate a pizza so good that I had to smoke a cigarette afterwards.

10. Why not just cut to the chase? Are you a hungry or horny little fella?

    
    1. Hungry!
    2. Horny!

Horny Tyrion!

For seuth, my liege! You ARE a Horny Tyrion. If it has a pulse, and if it's not on fire, you’ll have sex with it. Your sexual terminology is that of a highly verbose 13 year-old. And your appetite for whores is legendary. What you lack in stature you make up for in stamina. You put the Imp in PIMP!

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Hungry Tyrion!

And verily it appears - you ARE a Hungry little Tyrion. Nothing makes you happier than strong ale and good food. Westoros is a dangerous place and you never know which meal will be your last so you have to make every morsel count.

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Now that we’ve assessed if you’re hungry or horny why not find out how gullible are you really?