Fan Changes Mind

Pictured: A once in a lifetime event – local man changes opinion!

Nobody gets in a flame war on social media expecting the other person to actually change their mind, but for Samson R. Hargleman, that’s exactly what happened.

The Burlington, Vermont native unbelievably changed his political views yesterday after hearing a legitimately convincing argument from someone on Facebook!

“I was trolling the Pro-Hillary page ‘DEMs The Breaks’ and trying to goad someone into a fight by commenting on every status with ‘Killary sux’ and ‘#FeelTheBern’” said Hargleman, an ardent Bernie Sanders supporter. “No one was taking the bait and I was starting to lose hope. I was about to switch to a Trump page when I saw a notification that said ‘Sharon Burke replied to your comment.’ I clicked on it thinking that I had finally pissed off one of Hillary’s brainwashed little fangirls enough to trade insults with me, but boy was I wrong!”

Hargleman says that not only did Burke not insult him, but she calmly and respectfully stated her opinions in a logical and sound way that made him question his own views. “I started to rip into her about emails and benghazi,” admitted Hargleman, “But then she explained all of Hillary’s campaign ideas to me in a way that didn’t just make sense, it almost made them feel like they weren’t blatant ripoffs of Bernie Sanders’ ideas! Sharon Burke actually convinced me to change my vote. I’m now the only person in Vermont not voting for Bernie Sanders.”

According to Hargleman, Sharon’s powers of persuasion didn’t stop at politics. “She also convinced me that Return of the Jedi was a better movie than The Empire Strikes Back,” says Hargleman. “On top of that, she explained why my religion was the wrong one, told me how I should be raising my kids, and even got me to switch to Pepsi after 32 years of drinking Coke.”

The whole exchange has caused Hargleman to rethink his reasons for getting into fights on Facebook in the first place.

“I used to get into these Facebook debates because it was fun to piss people off by insulting their beliefs and telling them that my opinions were better than theirs. It made me feel morally superior,” explains Hargleman. “The comments always started out pretty tame but after a while the insults would start flying. I once got blocked for calling a Ted Cruz supporter a syphilitic, troglodyte fucktard. Those were good times.”

“I never expected anyone to actually be swayed by the way I presented my arguments” says Hargleman, “But thanks to Sharon Burke I now know that’s a possibility. If she can get me to see pantsuits in a whole new light then maybe I can use Facebook to change people’s political and religious affiliations, too. Or at the very least convince them that Deadpool was really just a so-so movie. And as for Feel the Bern? Feel the turd is more like it, from now on #ImWithHer!”

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