Women Equal Pay

Here’s my thing with all these bitches who talk about how women should get equal pay: there’s a reason men are the workers and women are the baby makers. It’s just science. Like how chewing tobacco is better for you because you spit all the cancer out.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with girls taking a little job, here and there, especially since most places that hire chicks make them wear those cute little shorts or tight tank tops or some shit. Yes, please. Acting like we got to pay them the same as men though, or let them have man jobs, that’s just messing with the whole idea of humanity.

If women make the same amount of money as men, how is anything supposed to work? Second question: does anyone else want a sip of this NyQuil?

No offense to women, but they’re basically whores. We pay the money. They give us the sex. That’s been going on since, like, 15 B.C. (when the cavemen got here).

Every bitch knows her pie hole is worth coin. Why else would they spend so much time looking nice? Because they know the hotter they look, the more they can sell for. We buy them a drink or dinner, and then they know they have to have sex with us. Shit. Being a woman sounds pretty sweet to me.

But what if women made the same amount of money as us, and it got weird all of a sudden for us to buy them drinks? Then no one gets laid. No babies get made. Mankind as we know it stops.

Speaking of babies, if women make the same amount of money as men, are we going to keep giving them child support too? Because you know how much women love getting child support. Free money! Just for popping out a kid. Geez. I wish I could be a single mom. Seems like a pretty sweet job.

That brings me to my main point. We can’t let women just make the same amount of money that men do, or we men aren’t going to have anything to talk about. Let’s just say we do give them good jobs or what have you. Next thing you know, we men have nothing to talk about besides sports. Do you how much fun my buddies and I have calling rape victims attention seeking whores? Or joking around about what gold diggers they all are? They are, too. They’re all just after our money.

Wait. Shit. Where the fuck did my CoinStar voucher go? I needed that shit to buy more beer.

Like Runt on Facebook