Amazon is one of the most convenient websites on the internet. You can purchase virtually anything at the click of a button without even getting dressed. It’s not all cheap blu-rays and bulk toilet paper though. We scoured the deepest, darkest depths of Amazon to bring you thirty truly awful products you can currently buy:
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Don’t you hate it when you go to a family gathering and there’s not enough lube to go around for everyone? Problem solved.
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This wonderfully inviting torture cage for cats will show your feline friends who is the boss.
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This cookie cutter can make rainbow shaped cookies and provide subtle hints to your significant other to see a doctor about his erectile dysfunction.
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Diseases Caused by Masturbation: a great book for light bedtime reading.
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Stick your dog in this vacuum bag and watch the pure feeling of shame wash over its body.
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Because your dog is sick of you stretching out his hoodies when you go clubbing.
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Are you sick of pooping in the dark and wiping your ass with the bath mat? You’ll always know the location of your TP when it glows.
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Why stop at the vagina? Put some on your dog and make a forever puppy.
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This is PURE coyote urine, not that weak synthetic shit you get off the streets.
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It’s a proven fact the only thing kids like more than candy and toys are plagues.
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For those all too common occasions when only your nose goes outside.
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We can’t tell if it comes with a “Please come back it was a silly joke I’m really sorry I thought you would think it was funny!” button.
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Because your burger ain’t shit unless it has grill marks in the shape of Dale Jr.’s 88 logo on them.
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We’re not sure what this contraption is training your eyelids to do, but we support it.
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Shadow the Skeleton Dog: Delivered from your nightmares to your living room in a few short days!
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A great knife for everyday tasks, such as slitting your wrists if you actually buy this.
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This is great if you have a hard time expressing to people that you are an actual maniac with serious problems.
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If you’re getting sick of painting regular good inflatable cat unicorn horns black to make them evil, we got you covered.
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This looks like a completely rational product.
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Whether this is a cheap alternative to GoPro is debatable, but what we really want to know is if the fake mustache is included.
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It’s not guaranteed to slim your neck but it’s 100% guaranteed to make you look like an idiot trying.
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You can finally let anyone driving behind you know your controversial feelings about dead people.
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This dog costume is definitely fulfilling someone’s very specific fantasies. Maybe yours?
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Tooth whitener or cosmic weapon for your mouth? You decide.
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Afraid your grandpa is a pussy? Get him this 2 disc self defense set and toughen him up a little.
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For those stressful days when you get home from work and all you want to do is sit in front of the TV and crack open a nice cold can of steak.
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Finger food spoons are perfect for when the rest of your hand goes on vacation.
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A suction cup leash so your cat stays in that god damn bathtub whether it likes it or not.
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This shirt lights up when it detects wifi AND when other people are getting as far away from you as possible.
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We are told this is the best (and only) equestrian yoga book on Amazon.
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Enjoy this gallery of ridiculously bad Amazon items? Then check out our other posts on selfies gone wrong and the most ridiculous people of Walmart!
