We’ve all heard the term “always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” and many assume that to be a dig at the supportive sisters there to help honor the woman of the hour. And it’s true, being a bridesmaid means getting the shit end of that deal. Not because you aren’t the one getting married — because bridesmaid responsibilities honestly just suck.

So what am I supposed to do? you ask, Not form close relationships that last a lifetime? Of course not! You can still experience a close, emotional bond with your best girlfriend, just make sure there’s at least one person sharing closer, more emotional experiences with her than you are. By following these eight easy steps, you’ll be overlooked without a second thought, and safely seated at the kids’ table within close proximity of that bomb-ass cake.

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