It’s an age old American issue: you want a secure, offshore bank account to put all of your taxable income into illegally, until the feds forget about it – but you also want that bank account to be in prime beach vacay territory! If you’re anything like us, you spent years traveling to and from Hong Kong with the 35% taxable revenue your company made and stuffing it into “China Company Ltd.”

But stashing your shady millions in shell companies doesn’t take all week, and then you’re stuck with nothing to do in fucking Hong Kong. Here’s our definitive list of perfect tropical getaways for establishing an illegal (or at least questionable) offshore account; places where you can dip your hand into the company coffer and your toes in the impossibly blue water:

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